Insomnia

I'm a night person, I always have been. Some of my earliest memories are of begging my parents not to send me to bed. Bed was the prison of having to stay relatively still and stare into the darkness for what seemed like hours. I would just get so bored with nothing to do, and no relief from the Sandman.

Nowadays I control my own bedtime, but sleep is sometimes still elusive. The other night I tried all my special tricks. I put on a soothing cd, no sleep. I got up and did something boring, no sleep. I put on a soft slow movie that I've seen a hundred times, no sleep. These were all in addition to my usual tricks of taking a low dose of melatonin, and wearing an eye mask to block out all light. I even keep an insomnia journal. I keep it under my bed and when my brain just won't turn off, I write for a page or two, sometimes it works.

I'm not really complaining, I'm used to it by now. I'm just too old to stay up all night and still function at full capacity the next day. I'm still feeling the effects of the other night. Sometimes I don't even fight it, if I can't sleep I just find a good book and read. I guess I fought it this time because I really wanted the ability to work well the next morning.

Oh well, I should sleep well tonight, and hopefully the next, and the next, and the next.

Poem of the Week #1

And now, in all my wonderful contrariness, my first poem here is all about my dislike of poetry.

Poetry Schmoetry

I lose all patience with poetry.
Sometimes one needs more than words.
How does meter improve a poor story?
I snivel at your rhyming drivel.
Action!
I want action!
Stop your pretty words.
Stop your tiresome phrasing.
Get to the point,
and kiss me, you idiot!

June 2006

Birth of a blog

There is a trick to starting a painting, it's called "toning the canvass". A blank canvass is sometimes intimidating and the painter may never start in the fear of ruining the precious, perfect, white canvass. The best thing to do is to grab a large brush, dip it in a dark color, and recklessly paint the entire canvass.

I don't really know what I'm doing starting a blog. I lead a pretty sedate life, work a full time secretarial job, and write three pages of longhand nonsense in a journalish notebook everyday. I do have interests and opinions that need expression, so I'm starting this to put them out into the world. I have no particular grand design, just a love of sharing with friends and a need to be myself.

I'm thinking of starting out with a picture and poem every week. I don't think that is too ambitious. I draw all the time so the pictures will mostly be little doodles , sometimes on lined notebook paper. I also do finished artwork and this will give me a reason to keep it up. I'll post one every now and then.

I also write poetry but I don't like to admit it to people most of the time since saying "I write Poetry," is a great way to make people uncomfortable and end conversations. So since this is my blog and if you read it, you have brought it upon yourself to read what I write, I think you can handle a little poem now and then. I will write a disclaimer when my poetry is bad, I know some of it is bad. I particularly dislike sappy bad poetry, and I try not to write it, but sometimes I too am a sapp. I only write poems in short bursts every few months, but I have quite a store built up now so one a week should last me for a long time. I'll also post famous and not so famous poems from my favorite poets.